


Home

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-30
Updated: 2003-08-30
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14418804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Sometimes memories of what we have lost can be painful. Sometimes, they provide comfort.





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

Home

## Home

### by annaK

Title: Home  
Author: annaK  
Rating: R for language  
Classification: V,A,MSR  
Spoilers: This is set during the three months mentioned at the beginning of DeadAlive. Spoilers for Requiem, Within, Per Manum, TINH and DeadAlive.   
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.   
Archive: I'd be honored! Just let me know so I can come visit. Summary: Sometimes memories of what we've lost can be painful. Sometimes they provide comfort.  
Authors Notes: The timeline in this story is largely my own. CC had Scully being pregnant for 10 months, I don't! The timing of Requiem (which CC suggests was June) is based on a line in TINH where Mulder is said to have been taken in the fall. 

Special thanks to xdks. I couldn't do it without you, hon! 

__

Home   
By annaK 

__  
April 3 2001

Unlocking the apartment was the easy bit, she thought as the key entered the lock. The brass grated as the bolt turned, metal burning against metal after months of disuse. Burning like the tears in her eyes. 

A cloud of dust billowed out as she swung the door open onto the dank and empty apartment, choking her, the sounds permeating the air. 

She was home. 

__  
June 2000

"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" 

"No. It's lonely in Georgetown." 

If he was surprised by her honesty, he didn't show it. 

"C'mere" he whispered, seemingly not wanting to break the quiet fragility of the moment. 

She walked over to the couch, kicking off her shoes by the coffee table and curling up next to him, her head on his chest, their fingers entwined. She wasn't alone. 

__  
April 3 2001

She moved towards the living room, her eyes adjusting to the dimness of the space. She wasn't ready to open the blinds. Not yet. 

Dust clung to leather like she had to him, the black sofa turned gray. One neatly manicured hand brushed away the evidence of the months passed, sending the tiny particles into the air where they hung before falling down in a whirl of tiny snowflakes. He'd always loved the snow. 

__  
March 2000 

"I am not going outside in this weather." She was looking at him like he was a somewhat endearing, yet ultimately irritating little boy. 

"But it's snowing!" he said with his best puppy dog look. 

"Exactly!" 

They were standing by the back door. It led out onto a beautiful yard, a multitude of greens and browns poking up through the icy layer that had covered them overnight. When Mulder had said that a childhood friend wanted them to look after his house whilst he was away, she'd expected ghosts moving furniture around, or a mutant that lived in the basement; she had not expected a two story detached with a white picket fence. 

He'd seemed so young at that moment, trying to persuade her to go and build a 'snow alien' with him. His happiness was contagious, but before she had the chance to agree she was off her feet, hanging upside down over his shoulder. 

"Mulder!" She screamed, slapping him on the ass. Her half hearted protests were met with his victorious chuckle and the sting of the freezing air on her bare feet. 

Soon she was laughing too. Soon she was upright, legs clinging around his waist, arms clinging around his neck, snowflakes clinging to their hair. 

They'd never got around to building the snow creature. 

__  
April 3 2001

Still staring into space, Scully absentmindedly wiped at a single teardrop that was trailing its way down her cheek, whilst the other hand cradled her stomach. 

The child moved within her, pushing against her womb with several intense kicks. She wondered if it would be a runner, like its dad. 

He never knew. 

__  
February 2000

"Never give up on a miracle." 

She held onto him, his solid warmth thawing out her empty spaces. 

When they moved apart, he went through to the kitchen and made them tea. She curled into a fetal position on the couch, arms tightly hugging herself, holding herself together. 

The hot liquid burned her throat, the pain a welcome imposter in the numbness that surrounded her. She wanted to feel, wanted to be alive again. 

They sat in silence for minutes or hours, she didn't know. The rhythmic ticking of the clock and Mulder's steady heartbeat the only sounds. The apartment was like a vacuum, her breath sucked from her in salty mouthfuls of worn out cries. She was hollow inside. 

He said he should go. She asked him to stay. Asked him with body and soul, her lips desperately seeking his in a fevered kiss. She wanted to feel alive again. 

"No. I'm taking advantage of you." He said through panting breaths. 

"You're not. I want you." 

She was telling the truth. She wanted to be with him. To feel him all around her, inside her. For him to take away the ache. 

He wanted her. She could feel the evidence pressed against her stomach, but he kept shaking his head, kept pushing her away. 

"I don't do pity fucks." Despite the harsh words, his tone was imploring, begging her to want to be with him because it was _him_ , not just as a way to forget. 

She soothed his fears with gentle kisses. His forehead, his eyelids, the corner of his mouth. 

"Look at me." 

He did. 

"I need you, Mulder. Tonight and always. Please don't walk away." 

Her voice was a whisper, her eyes glassy as the tears once again began to fall. He kissed them away. 

That night, she was not alone. 

__  
April 3 2001

She found herself in his bedroom. The room was lighter than the rest of the apartment, the blinds still pulled back from the day he had left. She hadn't had the heart to touch them. 

She would have to start in here. Boxes were still piled around the bed, silent spectators to the life that had once burned within these walls. They would have to be moved. 

The room was not as dusty as the others. Time seemed frozen, waiting for him to come home. 

She could still make out the imprint that she had left on the duvet the day after he had been taken. She wondered if the pillow still smelt of him. 

__  
September 2000

"Let me go with you." 

"No. It's not safe. I told you. I can't risk anything happening to you." 

His fingers followed the contours of her face, then down her neck and along her ribs. He traced each outline with such reverence, such love. 

They were whispering. They always whispered in the early morning, that time between sleep and wakefulness where everything seemed quiet, fragile. 

She moved closer to him, fingers threading through his hair, lips grazing his. 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." 

He kissed her again, more firmly, rolling her over and settling on top of her, his arms braced on either side of her face. The early morning light spilled in through the windows, painting his features in a mirage of shadows. He was beautiful. 

After they made love, Scully sat on the bed, a sheet draped around her body like a toga. She was uneasy, fiddling with the covers with agitated hands. 

After he had showered and dressed, he sat next to her, their fingers entwining. 

"Once this is over, we'll start again. I promise." 

Nodding mutely she fought back the tears that were collecting behind her eyes. When he kissed her, she let them fall. 

Then he left her, sitting on their bed with a watery smile and a silent prayer. 

__  
April 3 2001 

Lifting a small box of papers from the floor, she began to go through it. She had so much to do. 

Her mother had offered to help with the move, despite her disapproval. Maggie couldn't comprehend her daughter's wish to live in her dead lover's apartment, let alone the wisdom of raising a child there. She didn't understand. 

Needing more light to see what she was doing, Scully walked back into the living room. Switching on the lamp, she placed the box on the coffee table. The artificial light bathed the room in an amber glow, filling the cold, desolate emptiness with ethereal warmth. 

The multitude of memories had once amplified his absence; now they allowed her to feel his presence. He was all around her, watching and waiting, protecting her and their child. 

They would be safe here, cocooned in an eternal embrace. 

They were home. 

__  
End

All feedback is lovingly received   
  


#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to annaK


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